I, personally, can relate to Moses as he sought with much zeal to fulfill what God laid upon his heart.
When there’s a holy desire burning in your soul and you’re sure that it’s put there by God, it is easy to believe that—because you’re on fire, because you love God, because you’re so talented, because you’re “special” and stand out in some way, then you’re definitely ready to march on and slay any dragons that stand in your way and thereafter, fulfill destiny. So imagine your shock when, like Moses, you set out to do “God’s will” and it backfires completely!
Has God abandoned you? Did He not send you? Were you mistaken when you thought you heard His voice?
These questions slam your mind again and again, and sometimes even, to the point of psychological trauma and emotional insanity. Failing to go back to God for comfort and direction may send you spiraling down a path of confusion and depression that you may be in danger of not surviving, because it may put you on a path where you will emerge on the dark side with a skewed perspective of God and life on earth. Worse yet, fear and doubt may creep in and morph into more damaging forms that will produce a daunting lack of self-confidence and a distorted view of yourself, which will consequently sink your self-worth. Some Christians may even remain in the faith after such an experience, but will do so while simultaneously holding unto a pitiful faith that allows just enough for them to believe that they are saved, but will go no further than that truth because they’ve given up on life itself; you’ll find that these Christians have a dangerously unhealthy yearn to depart earth too quickly as a result of their sorrowful state on earth.
Making their state even worse, they may also possess an unhealthy fear of God or His punishment that doesn’t allow them to receive His love and gifts (I John 4:18-19), or may even believe that such goodness from God to them is not possible. This is why it becomes exceedingly difficult for such people to receive love from others or give it, because they themselves believe that they are not loved, or that they’re unlovable, or have consciously accepted that they’re irreversibly damaged to a state that will not permit them the ability to receive love, freely give it or return it. A Christian in this state is [disputably] worse than a non-Christian in a similar condition. Why?—because they’ve “apparently” tasted of God in a way that seemed to agree with how they’d initially perceived Him, and somewhere along their journey, found God “wanting” in that particular character that they’d come to expect of Him. This “disappointment” leads them to either do away with God or refuse to venture further into any level of faith beyond the obvious or simple because they believe God is not faithful to His Word; some even go as far as believing that there’s something that they did wrong or didn’t do right. This is what happens when a Christian doesn’t take the time to know the person of God.
God is a person with a unique and constant character. Failing to understand the character of God for yourself can place you in a dangerous position when trouble strikes, because false or no understanding of who He is will open you up to interpreting occurring events in diverse ways that could be detrimental to your faith, as well as cause you to view God from a perspective that is the opposite of who He truly is. It takes only the power of the Holy Spirit to bring such a person back into a thriving faith which will allow them to flourish on earth and live a life that is not only fully satisfying to them, but will be a testimony to others.
This analogy helps one understand the case of Moses, and why he fell from an over-confident warrior into the state of fear and lack of confidence in which God found him in. Sadly, many Christians are in this state today—reduced into a faithless rubble or a less than mediocre faith void of God’s love and manifested blessings.
Are you like Moses?
You can trust God again. Please allow me to propose a way that you can consider—one that may, perhaps, lead you into discovering that God is love as you once believed, and that the desires He put in your heart can come to life in you and even take form in reality. This is what I propose: forget every doctrine and teaching you’ve ever been told about God; all of it put together made up your belief system and probably led you to perceive God in the way that you did, and so are directly responsible for the state of confusion, anger and depression that you’re in right now. Go back to the basics—God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life (John3:16)—and start from there. Pick up God’s Word, the Bible, inspired by God Himself to teach and instruct man in everything he needs to know (II Timothy 3:16-17), and study it for yourself with an open heart. Let the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit, teach you who God is and what His promises are…that simple.
My reason for this proposal is this: there is a promise from Jesus in Luke 11:13 that the Father will give the Holy Spirit to those who ask of Him. Jesus, again, promised the Spirit in John 14:16, even stating in v.17 that the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of truth, and so will teach you all truth. All you need to do is ask. Jesus further listed the work of the Spirit in John Chapters 14 through 16, essentially telling us that the Holy Spirit is not just our Counselor/Teacher sent as a gift from the Father, but is also our Comforter. If you are willing to give God another chance, be assured that because you have been broken for so long, He will heal and comfort you. You will be blessed with comfort because, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4).
Bear in mind that you can only receive the truth by studying God’s Word for yourself. In the past, God spoke to His people through angels, but today, He does so primarily through His Son, Who is the Word (Hebrews 1:1-2; John 1:1-18), and we must study His Word to know who God is, since the Son is the exact representation of God’s being (Hebrews 1:3). Jesus promised in John 14:26 that the Holy Spirit will teach us in two ways—by reminding us of everything Jesus taught, and will also teach us everything else that we need to know. John 16:13 further emphasizes this by saying, “He will guide you into all truth.”
I will be bold and say that if you do this with an earnest heart, you’ll discover this: firstly, God is a person, and like everyone else, He has a character that is unique to Him. Secondly, God’s character is constant and consistent with His Word. Thirdly, what you’d initially thought, learned or perceived as true is probably false, distorted, or you applied these truths wrongly to your faith. Fourthly, what you will come to learn will astoundingly convict and humble you in degrees that you never ever imagined or thought possible. In other words, God will blow your mind. In this place of new discovery, you will rise again more beautifully than ever before, and you’ll learn that you were created in love, for love, and to love—that is, you are meant to love and be loved. Finally, you’ll realize what this is really all about—that the point of everything that God has ever done and will do is to build you into the image and likeness of Jesus, His perfect Son (Ephesians 4:12-16). Everything else is two things:
(i) a plus, that is, blessings, and,
(ii) tools given to you to accomplish the good works and service that He already planned for you to do before you were born (Ephesians 2:10; 4:11-12; Jeremiah 1:5).
In light of this, you’ll understand every discipline that comes your way. You’ll understand why God chooses the salvation of your soul over certain “wants and desires” that will lead you in a different direction and tarnish His good work in you. You’ll also understand that as long as you’re on earth, you’re a work in progress—God’s workmanship, and that all this time, He’d been preparing you in the desert, like Moses, for the very thing that you’d been aching for!
Moses sought to fulfill his destiny in his own strength, and so rushed into it unprepared. The result was a disaster (Proverbs 19:2-3), because, no work inspired by God can be accomplished with the strength of man, but only by the Spirit of God (Zechariah 4:6; Philippians 4:13; Ecclesiastes 7:11). This is why Jesus instructed the disciples to stay in Jerusalem until they received power (Acts 1:4, 8). Thankfully, Moses heeded God’s Word and received His love, and therefore became the greatest prophet in Old Testament (Deuteronomy 34:10-12). You, too, can fulfill destiny! And if you’re worried that so much time has passed, look no further than Moses who was 80 years old when God found him again. God gave him forty more years to fulfill destiny, and would have given him more if not for a certain misconduct. In those forty years, Moses strength did not fail, and neither did his eyesight (Deuteronomy 34:7). The same God that found Moses is the same God who reigns todays (Hebrews 13:8; John 1:1; Hebrews 1), for He is not a man that He will change His mind (Numbers 23:19).
Do you know someone in this state?
In the words of the late Kenneth Hagin (paraphrased), pray Ephesians 1:16-23 and 3:16-19, inserting their name(s) in the relevant spaces. These are prayers that ask God to reveal His love, power, and glory to an individual in a way that only He can. Remember that these hurting people who’ve probably refused any more counsel are not the real enemy (II Corinthians 4:3-4), because the real enemy we wrestle against isn’t flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12; II Corinthians 10:3-5), but are great powers that are rebellious to God and are at work in the hearts of men, telling them lies (Ephesians 2:2).
About the Editor
Miranda A. Uyeh is the founder and editor of To Be A Person (TBAP), the author of Christian Romance/Suspense fiction, To Die Once: Child of Grace #1, a Mogul Global Ambassador, and a copywriter. She was a one-time shortlisted judge for the Inspy Awards in 2014 in the Contemporary Romance & Romance/Suspense Category.
When Miranda isn’t reviewing books/entertainment or hosting interviews on TBAP, she’s writing, reading for fun or relaxing with a good movie! When she gets bored with the world, she talks to God about it! To learn more about her book, To Die Once, her journey as an author and her other activities, you can follow her personal website. You can also connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, and Google+.
*The article, I Am Moses, was first published on To Be A Person (TBAP), and is part of the I Am Series.