Samson was a great man of God whose birth was foretold, and his purpose made known to his parents before he was born. He was a leader among leaders, uniquely set apart in a very special way than all the other judges before him and after him. But Samson had a weakness: the type of women in his life.
Now, the devil CANNOT possess a child of God because s/he is indwelt by the Holy Spirit. And as Jesus pointed out, “unless you bind the strongman in his house, you cannot loot or steal from him” (Matthew 12:29; Mark 3:27), and if the Holy Spirit is the “Strongman” in your house/temple (body), no devil can bind him and take you from Him. However, the devil is VERY cunning and has two ways by which he operates in the lives of God’s children: Strongholds and Footholds (a topic for another day). I’ll briefly discuss the one of the pair that matters to this topic: foothold.
A foothold is something in your life that you DO that opens a door to the devil to SNEAK in and WRECK havoc—first, silently and in the shadows, and then, when it can no longer be hidden or the time is right, he strikes devastatingly. Where you should be a slippery slope for the devil all around, a foothold gives the devil a place to “hold” onto you, and eventually stand and do damage. Think of it this way: you, a child of God, are hedged in and protected; a foothold is a crack in the wall created by YOU that will ALLOW the deceitful serpent to quietly creep in and be with you within that hedge. The thing with footholds is that they start very small and appear harmless—a neutral ground—like a little bud of a creeping plant that appears at the foot of a wall. It grows and eventually “creeps” all over the wall and ground until it covers everywhere. The interesting thing with this analogy is that, no matter how far spread the vines of a creeping plant go, when you yank the vines and follow and trace their route, ALL the far-spread vines lead to that one place at the FOOT of the wall where that first tiny bud appeared. Only this time, it has a deep-seated root that may take some serious digging to remove, leaving considerable damage in/under the wall. This is EXACTLY how a foothold operates.
Footholds come on two fronts—BESETTING SIN and COMPLACENCY. Think of each as the young bud that appears at the foot of the wall. For the purpose of this topic, we’ll stick to the one that matters: complacency.
Complacency is a passive, non-aggressive approach to specific instructions that God has given about certain matters. Sometimes even, it’s a direct IGNORING of God’s specific instruction about a particular issue WITH the attitude that it “really” doesn’t matter, or it doesn’t apply to you, or that it CANNOT hurt you or affect you badly.
For Samson, his complacency was the women in his life.
In Old Testament times, God specifically warned His children to marry outside of Israel unless the foreigners were grafted in, as was with Rahab (Joshua 2; 6:22-24, 25) and Ruth (Ruth 1-4) Moses gave instructions for foreigners who wanted to be a part of Israel. And God hasn’t changed His mind about this Today. It is amazing the degree of damage that has come to God’s children because of this same mistake, yet, some people still believe that “it could never happen me” or “even if something did happen, I can always bounce back stronger; I’m invincible!” Let me say this real quick before we continue: the trials that God permits to come to you that enable you to “bounce” back stronger do NOT include you directly VIOLATING His specific instruction. Yes, when you make a mistake, He will lovingly raise you up again by His wisdom and grace, but it is NEVER His intention that you go the wrong way in the first place. So do not mistake past victories in trials as an indication that no matter what you do, you will come out stronger. It nearly isn’t always the case. Samson triumphed for a while with this, but when Delilah came along, he fell, and his fall was great. God helped him to rise again, but the damage done was overwhelming—so overwhelming that he preferred death.
This is the reality of what a “foothold” is capable of, if you keep going. As a side note, whatever your foothold is, do yourself a favor and pay attention to what God is telling you. God won’t send multiple warnings to you if this isn’t important.
Back to the topic. The women.
With the above being said, this next sub-topic is to SPECIFIC people. This does NOT apply to every child of God, because, God leads each of us in different ways in the matters of choosing a life partner. For this context, there are certain people who are looking to God for a life partner, and have probably found someone that they believe is the “right one” for them. So far, so good, everything about this person checks out. Except for one thing.
The interesting thing about this is how deceitful our hearts or the devil could be in presenting you with a life partner. Perhaps, you’re a child of God who’s concluded based on past experiences and hurts that you will NEVER be romantically involved with another Christian, because, for the life of you, you’ve found that a lot of “Christians” are terribly stringent in their approach to life, and so cannot understand your worldview nor the liberty that you believe the Holy Spirit provides for God’s children—for as many as are willing to allow themselves to be set free from legalism. It’s frustrating, annoying, and you’ve come to a place where you’ve [stubbornly] decided that you will NOT deal with it any longer to the extent that you’re able to avoid it. This puts you in a dilemma. And so you say to yourself, you will find that special someone who “mirrors” your moral views, as well as your heart and purpose (if you’ve already discovered it). And that will be enough for you.
I’m sorry, but God doesn’t agree.
And before you argue, God has seen the end from the beginning, and in His wisdom, this is His final verdict on this matter. And guess what, God is a LOT wiser than you.
That being said, you’re taking matters into your own hands instead of trusting God to provide. It could be that you’ve waited a long time, and it seems God isn’t coming. Know this: He hasn’t forgotten you. If you take matters into your own hands by choosing outside of God’s children, I promise you this, heaven isn’t the only one who will take notice. The devil will to. And if you’re someone like Samson, anointed in a special way that sets you apart even among the children of God, be sure of THIS: THE DEVIL WILL COME AFTER YOU WITH EVERYTHING, and very likely, with a “Delilah.” It breaks my heart to say this, and I wish it weren’t true, but devil is NOT playing. He is serious. And God can only do so much, before you make that mistake that will make you fair game to the devil.
Let me be clear, the Delilah in your life wouldn’t have to be cunning and deceitful like the one in the people. In fact, as you initially proposed, they might be charming, sweet, and mirror your heart, purpose, and views in ways that will probably blow your mind. What you fail to realize is that, this person is actually a “masked likeness” of the person that God has for you. They are a likeness, but they are NOT the person. Two things will stand out about this person, and bear in mind that these two things are DESIGNED to keep you comfortable so that you will remain in your comfort zone. This is dangerous. This is complacency:
- They will fit the “perfect image” that you created for yourself when seeking a special someone. They will likely come from your world, mirror your success, your drive for life, and will speak your “heart” language. Like I mentioned earlier, our hearts are deceitful, and consequently, what you “see” will make you comfortable. This is why the children of God are instructed to be Spirit-led.
- They will appear to fit well your “SHAPE” (see Pastor Rick Warren’s teaching on SHAPE), but will lack in the most vital of them all: SPIRITUALITY/SPIRITUAL GIFT. What’s SHAPE, you ask. For a brief breakdown, S- Spirituality/Spiritual Gift; H- Heart; A- Abilities; P- Personality; E- Experiences. Everything about this person, from H to E, will be “special” or “perfect” for you, except for “S”. But you already decided that you didn’t want this any way. This is not only sad and wrong, but it will damage you long term. When discussing below the signs of the person that God has for you, you’ll understand why this is damaging, and also why this person that you’ve chosen for yourself is a “masked likeness” of them.
Who, then, does God have for you?
As mentioned above, this message is for SPECIFIC people. God doesn’t always operate this way with every child of His. For this particular group that I’m speaking to, you will HEAR from God concerning the one He has for you. I’m not talking about voices in your head. These two things will stand out about this person. He will CONSTANTLY impress them upon your heart/spirit and He will confirm it with His Word. For a broader understanding of how God speaks, I highly recommend you watch these free videos by T.D. Jakes, Rick Warren and Joyce Meyer.
Here are a few signs of the one God has for you:
- God will set them before you, and He will do it in a way that you clearly did not orchestrate. You had no power or control over how you came to “see” them. He does it this way so that you’ll know it was Him, and not you.
- At initial glance, they may very likely appear to be your worst “misfit”, until you look a little closer. Truth is, you will only realize how “perfect” you are for each other when God reveals or opens your eyes to see their heart and spirit. When God presents a person to you, don’t be so quick to peg them a certain way, and then dismiss them. There could be a whole lot more to that person that you don’t know because it isn’t obvious. For instance: I’m a dyslexic (who’s clearly overcome much of it; as you can see, I’m a prolific writer/blogger!) who’s passionate about justice, women’s right (with emphasis in human trafficking and self-defense), and children’s welfare (health, education, basic needs provision, evangelism, and anti-child pornography; sorry, I can’t pick one!) who THRIVES on encouraging the children of God to become EXACTLY who God has called them to be! Now, at first glance, you wouldn’t know that about me now, would you, because most of it is absent from my bio? LOL. Don’t be so quick to dismiss the one that God has set before you. Allow Him to show you their spirit.
- In the place of prayer, meditation, and quiet time, God will CONTINUALLY bring them before you, and then confirm His Word concerning them to you. This will not happen with the one you’ve chosen for yourself. Test this. Whenever you pray to God concerning the person you’ve chosen, there’s silence, and sometimes even, unrest. But NEVER confirmation or peace. For the person that God will set before you, THROUGHOUT the season that the Holy Spirit will convict you concerning them, TAKE NOTE that it will ALWAYS or MORE FREQUENTLY happen in the place of prayer, meditation, and quiet time. Again, this will NEVER happen for the one that you’ve chosen for yourself.
- About the time that God sets them before you, you will sense a season of preparation, where the Holy Spirit will “prepare” you to be a spouse with this particular person as the center of focus. This, too, will be made clear and obvious in the place of prayer, meditation and quiet time.
- This person will be connected to you somehow. It doesn’t matter how far away this person is from you, but something about you connects you to them, or them to you. In fact, this connection might very well be the medium or channel through which God “set” them before you.
- God will use them to speak to you without them realizing it. Some things about you that you KNOW THAT YOU KNOW only you and God know. God will use them to speak to you on matters that deeply concern you, but you’ve probably NEVER voiced to anyone or just a few people. The beauty of this is that, you will recognize that there’s NO way this person could have known to say those things to you.
- God will use this person to hold up a mirror to you to see certain things about your life that you either need to let go of or change. Issues and hurts of the past that haven’t been dealt with, God will remind you of them, open them up, and heal you using this person, and this person may not even be aware that God is using them this way in your life.
- Unlike the person you chose for yourself, this person will not only speak your heart language, but will also speak your spiritual language. That thing that you were so worried about—that they might not understand why you’re so different or why you view life and the world so differently—you’ll notice that they speak very similarly or perfectly to/like you. This is where they are a blessing to you in a way that your own “chosen” cannot be. You may wake up one morning and want to say, “God has impressed this on my heart to do so and so,” but you will not be able to share with your “chosen” to the fullest joys of your heart and spirit the way you would with the rest of your family and friends that share your faith. Eventually, this will break your heart and break you. There’s how far the two of you will go together before you both become frustrated. Some things, God will ask of you, which will require extraordinary faith, which only another believer can understand. These kind of feats appear very foolish to the ordinary person, and I promise, it will cause friction, either with them or in you. How? You may present this God-given desire to them and they’ll fight you (friction with them) or in fear of rejection, you may keep it to yourself and it will eat you up on the inside (friction within you). The implication of this is that, anyone who can speak a particular language, can also understand it when it is spoken to them. In order words, when YOU speak what God has impressed on your heart/spirit, the spouse that God will choose for you will not only HEAR you, they’ll UNDERSTAND what you’re saying. They WILL pray with you and for you, and “agree” with you in spirit and in truth. And for the days when your faith is failing, they’ll encourage you in the same way that your family/parents/friends initially did before you met them. Your own “chosen” cannot do this with you, and it will eventually damage you, your calling, your purpose, and more distraughtly, your life.
- The case for this person will be stark raving overwhelming. [Almost] everywhere you turn to dispel what God has told you about this person being your mate, you will ONLY find more witness toward God’s Word to you. The only “alarms” going off will be the “alarms of doubt.” But as far as God’s Word and Him providing a witness, EVERYTHING will check out wherever you turn.
- During the season of conviction, for the moments when you’re inclined to accept God’s Word, it is followed by increasing peace. But this will also do something else: there will be increasing unrest and a sense of [spiritual] detachment from the one you chose for yourself. The more you pray and listen to God’s Word, the more you’ll see that your own “chosen” is just a “masked likeness” of the one that God has/will set before you. This will be a time of intense frustration. But if you follow the Holy Spirit’s leading, you will come out on the brighter side of this very thankful/grateful to God.
If this message is for you, know that God sent it your way because you are DEEPLY LOVED AND CHERISHED by God, and He doesn’t want you to make a mistake that will damage the beautiful plan that He has for your life. Listen to Him and follow His leading. Secondly, if God tells you about a particular person being your mate, PLEASE give God a chance to speak to them to. Let them hear God. too, concerning you. Do NOT try to manipulate your way into their life. It will only end badly. I do NOT believe that God will tell you, and not tell them or direct them toward you. God is a God of order and not chaos.
About the Editor
Miranda A. Uyeh is the founder and editor of To Be A Person (TBAP), the author of Christian Romance/Suspense fiction, To Die Once: Child of Grace #1, and a Mogul Global Ambassador. She was a one-time shortlisted judge for the Inspy Awards in 2014 in the Contemporary Romance & Romance/Suspense Category.
When Miranda isn’t working on TBAP, she’s writing, reading for fun or relaxing with a good movie! When she gets bored with the world, she talks to God about it! To learn more about her book, To Die Once, her journey as an author and her other activities, you can follow her personal website. You can also connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, and Google+.
*The Article, I Am Samson (Part 1): The Women, first appeared on To Be A Person (TBAP) and is part of the I AM Series on this blog.